Girlfriend demands that 23-year-old boyfriend give her an equal monthly allowance, after discovering he plans to financially support his younger sister during her studies, relationship strains as he refuses: '[She says] I should be willing to support her'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 11, 2025 6:00 AM EST

If we've ever seen a red flag blowing in the wind, this sure is it! What 23-year-old boy should be responsible for supporting his 21-year-old girlfriend? And in what world could anyone, who's barely old enough to have a big-girl job, expect that from their boyfriends? A monthly allowance…Well, unless she's pet-sitting his dog Tommy over the weekends or his parents have officially adopted her as their own, we're not sure what gave her the impression that she is entitled to one. 

But what we do know is where the idea came from. After this young man told his girlfriend that he would start financially supporting his younger sister through college, suddenly green-colored sparks started flying within her imagination. He is an amazing big brother who is fortunate enough to help out his dependent sister. The difference? They've been inseparable since the day she was born, and his girlfriend has been in his life for approximately 6 months. There are yogurts in our fridges that have been around for a longer period of time, and you don't see us fishing out monthly allowances for them…

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  • So if we had to give this caring brother advice, it would be 3 letters long: r-u-n. If she expects this type of treatment, both so young and at such an early stage in their relationship, we worry with time this deserve everything for nothing-type attitude will grow with time. And does one really wish to stand at the altar with someone who cares more about her own wants than the needs of their own family…Well, that will be his question mark to erase. 

  • Couple arguing at home
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  • AITA for not "helping" my girlfriend

    Hello Reddit, I might need some other opinions/viewpoint to possibly help change my mind. In a conversation with my girlfriend (F 21) and I (M23) it recently came up that I'm planning on financially supporting my younger sister when she's studying.
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  • Currently she does not need the money yet (and isn't accepting it), cause she's still living with our older sister, but she will in the future (~a few months) when she has to pay for her own appartement.
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  • She also is working part time but that is not enough to cover everything and we want her to have time to focus on her studies.
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  • My girlfriend expressed that she does not support the idea, thinks it would be unfair for me to support my sister, but not her.
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  • We've been together for almost 6 months, we don't live together. My girlfriend is currently doing an apprnticeship, she also sometimes works as a babysitter.
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  • She argues if I'm willing to support my sister with a monthly "allowance", should also be willing to support her in the same way.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I have offered/stated that I would be willing to help if she lacks money for any neccessities, but she says that is unfair, since I am not giving the same stipulation to my sister.
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  • I might have enough funds to support them both, if I decrease the amount for my sister, but it might be tight with my own budget.
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  • I am looking for your opinions wether I'm being unreasonable, if their is a good compromise or whatever you think.
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  • Edit: Thanks for the responses (much more than expected) I'll sort through them later and figure out how to approach the subject.
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  • Tricky_Direction_897 NTA. You should run from this relationship, this is ridiculous.
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  • This WeekInTheRegency Six months and she thinks you should support her? Not a chance. She's asking you to treat her like a wife, but you don't even live together. (Nor should you, at this stage.) I would see this as a giant red flag. If she's not happy being independent at this point, it's only going to get worse. I see no reason at all that you should subsidize this woman - this is a warning about her level of entitlement and jealousy, and you should take it very seriously. NTA. I'd run.
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  • mxerkx Ask her to explain the similarities between 6 months and your sisters ENTIRE life. Personally it's crazy she would even ask.
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  • Man giving an envelope of money to sister
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Chemical_Suit_4941 You have known your girlfriend for six months and you are letting her dictate your relationship with your sister who you have known almost your whole life. I know who I would choose.
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  • BeachinLife1 You've been your sister's brother all your lives, this chick has been around for all of 6 months and thinks she should get "family level" support? You are under no obligation to support either of them, but she has a lot of nerve to even think about demanding that of you. Tell her to go kick rocks! And in the future, don't tell all your business. I know you are part of the "oversharing" generation, but seriously, your financial arrangements are none of anyone else's business, especia
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  • Bubbly_Following7930 nta your gf can pound sand. Your sister is family and your gf has only been around 6 months. It takes nerve for her to even ask you.
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  • JJQuantum NTA. Your sister is family. Your gf is not. She's also way too entitled.
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  • Public_Ad_1411 Wow. Girlfriend thinks, that after only 6 months, her interests trumps the interests of your family? That's a level of entitlement that doesn't bode well for the future.
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  • casciomystery NTA, like all the other comments. I'll add that in the future, keep all your financial information to yourself. It's none of her business, especially after just six months. I have yogurt in the fridge that's older than six months.
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  • Impossible_Nebula_33 Two completely different situations presumably your parents are not in the picture you and your sister have made plans to support your little sister well before your gf ever entered the picture. Your gf is selfish, entitled, jealous and clearly not family oriented plus you have only been dating a mere 6 months that's nothing and she is already trying to tell you how you spend your money? Break it off now it won't hurt trust me. Even thinking about decreasing that amount you
    via Impossible_Nebula_33

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boyfriend unsupportive break up drama siblings paymment demanding relationship-drama girlfriend dependant couples materialistic young financial support college entitled-woman dating
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